10, 100, a million nis

Honestly, why does she do this? What's happening to her? Please, somebody break this periodically appearing madness - I beg the world and all who think kindly of me - please!

 

What I am talking about? Do you need to ask? It's tennis time, and not the usual burden on me, but double the madness and you aren't even close.

 

Of course, we live in the livingroom for two weeks while Chris keeps waking up at night, turning on the TV and watching the ball being tossed, smashed, spun, served, volleyed, sliced, chipped, hit and played across the net. Hm, and to me all of that is happening in a rather small window she calls TV. And the funny thing is, which is natural if your eyes don't work, that Chris doesn't even care about the window. She lies on the couch and watches with her ears. She records important points and interviews, as always.

 

What drives me crazy is when she shouts out of the blue, and I don't get it. I gather something unpleasant has happened, so every time she yells I get up from my place, try to comfort her and regularly get sent back to my place with a calm, relaxed voice and a reassuring pet. Then why does she shout in the first place, when nobody but I can hear her?

 

And now comes the second evil. Chris must have added another tennis joy on her computer. Sometimes the ball noise comes from two sides: one is the usual recorder above her head, and the other is the large speakers at the other wall. Usually they release music by the music man - not these days, not a single musical note, except for yells squeeks, whistles and Chile Chile chants. What Chile has to do with tenis I don't know, but Chris pretends to be the smarter one anyway.

 

So now that she has two threads to follow, she hardly moves away from the couch. She times the Hapoo walks so she won't miss out on alything important. And when it does happen, she can call up the missed drama any time she likes, usually through the large speakers.

 

I should strike back, so I should! I should sneak into the kitchen and see if there's anything I like. Oh, bad idea - I hear Chris laughing meanly. Go ahead Hapoo, there's nothing in there you could access - or have you managed to open a fridge where the grip is only bent inward and shows upward on top of that? Or have you, despite all your cleverness, managed to open cans? No I haven't, darn it!

 

And then you tell me the world around me is normal? Chris has been playin a lot on her computer. she has dropped a line or two on the music man-related sites, but she's also found something cool about the bestest tennis man currently, tennis Rafa. So many tennis man, you don't know where to turn to first. She wants to chat with him like she used to with Shadow. Hey, why don't you just pick up the phone and talk to him instead? I know that you prefer the natural voice to that stupid computer voice of yours.

Ah, I hear you, Chris! You'd love to, but he doesn't have your phone number, nore do you have his. And even if he had yours, he wouldn't call because you are too old for him, or because he's too busy?

It's such a shame! Or why don't we go to the tennis courts and you try to introduce me as the speediest ballgirl on the entire planet?

Of course, you and the tennis Rafa would have to train me so I hand the balls over to him, but apart from that I would fly over the court like a rocket for as long as I can! And since I can flirt so well, maybe he *will* talk with you rather than chatting?

 

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OOPs

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What am I doing here? What on earth am I doing? Am I using my royal brain and my creativity to help Chris in her madness? Somebody get this tennis toy away from her, or else I'll be equally infected! Or if it's not tennis Rafa, then maybe tennis Nicolas, or tennis Alex, or tennis...

O help, I'm doing it again! I mean Chris even sleeps during the day. She took holidays to watch tennis, we aren't going on major travels or anything, she is just watching tennis from night toll day, and from day till night she sleeps. She says she loves five-setters where her favourites win, or straight three-setters where they're done fast and can relax soon. Now what does she love? Drama or efficiency? Well, I guess she loves it when her favourites get far, and tennis Rafa is the strongest one of them all, she hopes.

I even hear her talking about going to Spain, which is the land of claycourt tennis, like Hamburg where we have been before, and there she can see all the tennis men again. Will I get one of the balls then, or will Chris keep them all for her own memory? Can somebody, please, step in and help me fight for my interests? I myself like her too much, I just cannot be tough on her. But please, at least tell her not to scare me with her random displays of excitement!

I am hoping for help, understanding and empathy, Yours, Hapoo (frustrated back to my royal bed)