Friday, April 27, 2007

The dull smelling meaningful

Hi all:
Have you ever smelled paper and said:
"mmm, smells good!"
I haven't, but Chris has. She generally loves paper. She takes a book -
one of the ind she cannot read with her hands at all - and flips through
it page by page. She says that it is relaxing to feel the pages and hear
the noise they make when they are moved. Sorry, how stupid must one
creature be? She even has a favourite book for that relaxing passtime of
hers, it's the etimologic dictionary of which she has already bought
three, but given all away eventually - not without flipping through
them, mind you.
Chris also says paper smells good. Newspapers smell different than
magazines, and even books have different smells. O yes, I do now the
smell of a bookstore, because Chris likes to go into one with Shadow and
then we spend hours in them.
She also has lots of paper in the apartment - various sizes and
qualities. On some she puts the dogs that she can later read, and some
she gives the printer to eat and spit out after a process of decoration.
And then there's the paper she puts around other paper. And when she
does that it is time for a walk to the mailbox.
She receives letters, of course, and sometimes the cutting machine gets
a job to do, but sometimes she puts the papers away nicely. She says
they are either of some value to her, or she has to keep them for
further reference. What would she say if I kept my fish for further
reference, I wonder? I'm not like that, cease the day and the food while
you have it, that's what life is all about!
A few days ago, as I told you, we went to the store that was not
completely a bookstore, but she returned with paper anyway, after having
paid huge amount of money. She says that these papers enable her and
the cousin to go to see the music man later this summer.
Why does that have to be a paper guard for the music man?
Let's do something, people. Let me go to the music man with Chris, and I
promise I will be really nice. I will sit in front of him, and when Chrs
tells me to I will give him my left paw, followed by my right, so he can
choose which one was the right. Nobody can tell me I am lazy! I will
even lick the music man's hand, I promise, to tell him that he's a nice
chap after all! And then we should be allowed to see him without the
paper - how's that? Paper is worth nothing, Chris, get that in your
head! If I were a puppy I would find the paper and play chop and shread
with it and see the pieces fly around in the wind. You cannot do that
with the music man, so he's worth more. Plus he is human and could, if
you'd let him, give me food and pets and scratches!
So let's not rely solely on the papers, Chris, let's go and charm the
man, please! You should be able to do that - and if not you then I or
the cousin! To hell with a paper and the exuberant amount of Euro coins
you need to get hold of that little piece of nothing! The world needs
equality, and let's face it:

Paper does neither in size nore in value nore in the ability to give
pets or food equal the music man!

Amen, I have spoken, Hapoo.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

City runs

Hi all:
I need to tell you about the past few days. As I said, it's all about
things that happened in the city. Well not really, for it all started
before that. One night Chris and I went out late for the Hapoo walk, so
we chose the shorter route around the church. I don't mind that route,
for there are plenty of opportunities to sniff, and something always
happens in the houses on the other side of the street. And oh, if you
think I was bored, no way. There came the man with his tiny dog. I had a
staring competition and then decided on a quick jump&growl. Too bad,
Chris snapped the leash and pulled back, so I didn't quite reach her. I
don't like her, okay? Anybody who stares at me has to be put back into
their boundaries, I'm the boss! I would have done that if Chris wasn't
on the leash. She was pretty mad and made me heel most of the way back.
I wasn't even allowed to sniff my favourite sniffing spot. And she also
said sorry to the little bitches man. She says he is much nicer than us
dogs.
Then two days ago Chris brought out my harness and we went to the city
with mom. There we met the cousin and a friend of hers. Guess what they
did - food and food and food - not a crumb was spared for me. Of course,
bare in mind that I had snatched a fairly large piece of self-made pizza
from same cousin a while back, so Chris is now extra strict where food
is concerned. But in order to remain fair I have to mention that I got
water, and folks had fun watching me having it while lying down.
And then came the shopping tour, during which Chris bought a dress and a
blouse in a second, ad she also bought paper that smells dull but makes
her happy. I'll tell you about that in my next post.
Something else happened during that city trip - I met a Labrador boy who
was three years old. And before Chris or his lady owner could say
anything we had already started sniffing each other. After my first
enthusiasm was cured, I sat still while he walked and sniffed all around
me, just like Chris had asked me to. And when she said it was time to
go, I walked without looking back. I did, however, need a reminder that
we were now back to working in harness.

Today we were up early, and first thing we stopped at the cemitary,
where mom had to do something while we were waiting in the car. Then on
we went and stopped at the place where the doctor lady looks Chris in
the eyes, and not me for a change. First we had to pass the children,
but I thought it would be nice to give them a lick and showed Chris
where to walk in. She made me pass, and so we first greeted the nice
ladies and then went to sit down - Chris sat on, I lay under the chair,
as always.
The time Chris spent with her human vet lady was short, the lady didn't
hurt her, and out we went. I got a little run on the grassy patch, did
my small business and then hopped back into the car. When we got out the
next time, we were near the train station. I showed Chris perfectly
where the streetcar platform was, and off we went to the city. We went
into the big store, where, once again, Chris hid in a cabin behind a
curtain, while I had to wait outside. She came out, presented a few
clothes and all the ladies, including mom, liked them. Then they bought
a little bag - yet another one - and then we went for human food. Again,
food for the humans and water for me. What I didn't drink Chris splashed
over my head and back to cool me. It is really hot these days, and Chris
is wearing a dress already, plus she spends most of her time on the
balcony. I think we then went to yet another shop, where Chris bought
another, really monstrous bag to put on her back. She says it is of good
quality, and if it were designed differently, she could put me inside it
all, this is how spaceous it is.
Cool, eh?
Allright, somebody is passing by the balcony, I have to perform my duty
and bark and look, cheers, Hapoo.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Woo-oo-oof - how crazy can she get???

Hi all:
I do need a shoulder or two to cry on, or a nice bowl of food- fish or
duck or goose feet - or a calm person to scratch me on the head for as
long as I want - she's gone crazy and with her thw whole world
<woo-oo-oof> If I weren't such a suffisticated Hapoo, I would cry at the
moon like the woolves in fairytales do!

Tell you the story that makes me feel so miserable!
Allright, fine, the friend arrived, and everything was fine and nice and
normal. The two of them talked, and the friend so kindly accompanied us
on all of our Hapoo walks, even though I did jump and bark, which the
friend doesn't like much.
I am used to the talks with no end, that's allright. But then came the
horror!
Chris sat down on the couch, and beside her sat the friend - and they
switched on the TV.
Guess what they showed there <woo-oo-oo-ooooof>

Tennis men all around the place - tennis and more tennis! I mean, not
even did Chris watch, but she made the friend join her! Tennis watching
clubs or circles, is there such a thing? Is that some kind of general
human disease, or is only Chris infected? And then why did she coax the
friend into not only watching with her, but even enjoying that stuff
with her?

No no no, I am going to hide in my house and only come out for food!
That one day the only stopped watching because I needed to go out,
otherwise they would have sat there and not moved for seven - S E V E N
- hours!

And if you believe that the insanity is over here - you failed
miserably! With the next day came more tennis, and that was even worse,
because Chris' favourite tennis man played with the favourite second
tennis man - yes she apparently likes it when the favourite plays
together with that other tennis man, because then they always win.
Anybody help me - they had fun!
Friend cheered for the folks on the opposite side, but Chris had the
last laugh, because her favourite tennis man stood his ground like a
rock in the storm or a tree in the sea - or whatever - they won!

Chris has the courage to tell me not to woo-oo-oof so loud, because she
has already done me a favour in that she has not watched tennis the day
after that one. She says it was decided and she saw what she wanted to
see - her favourite tennis man winning.
Now the only request that she has is for that one to win when we go to
see him at that Hamburg place soon. Sounds suspiciously like food, but
again she trashes all my hopes by telling me that I will be getting
Hapoo food, and she will be watching tennis like last year. Even the
weelchair lady will be there again to admire me, and she hopes we get a
ball from the tennis man match, so I have something to play. I will only
stop woo-oo-oofing if I can be lifted over the barrier and play balls
with the tennis people. She says that's not a deal, because she doesn't
have the smiles to convince any given tennis man of the idea that I have
in my Hapoo head.

Conclusion: Tennis is in sane, Chris is infected and dangerous for the
still intact society - somebody give her her brains back - I'm going to
my house - woo-oo-oof:-(

Thursday, April 05, 2007

The past days

Hi all wooferesses, woofers and humans:
Well these last days were quite eventful i´n a way. Yesterday, for
example, I barked at the mail lady. Chris had forgotten to close the
outside door, so when I heard her arriving I barked and dashed outside
before Chris could stop me. Yoohoo, that was funnnnn! The post lady even
rewarded me with a treat. I could sure need that.
The previous day I had discovered a bowl of human food trash that the
hens were supposed to get. It contained eggshells and a few green beans
gone bad. I first picked out the eggshells and carried them to my place
(not the house), and then started with the beans. O but Chris caught me
and sent me to my house, and mom stole the eggshells from me. Mean mom,
I had claimed them! Mean Chris, I didn't get food that night.
And then yesterday the cousin came and we walked through the vilage. And
as we passed the cemetary, I stopped at the correct door. Cool, eh?
And now I think the friend is coming to visit, so I probably won't be
able to write much anyway. Happy celebrations to all humans and behave
well to all woofers, Hapoo.